Children - I have three of them…and the stories I could tell might serve as a type of birth control for all of you who have yet to start families! For anyone who already has children, some of the following might border on familiar.
It is said that boys make bigger and more disgusting messes than girls, but in our family, it isn't my son that has caused the most chaotic upheaval, but my daughters that do! For instance, my eldest, the artist. When she was a little less than two years of age, one of her masterpieces stunk…literally. After waking early from a morning nap, she was suspiciously quiet, but happy - so I continued cleaning my bathroom, instead of going in to check on her. Bad move! She had climbed out of her crib and decided to add to the artwork already in the room. Using the dark clumps her digestive track had created after waking, she proceeded to scoop out pieces and use them as brown finger paints - coloring pictures on the walls, furniture, and some toys. Imagine my amazement when I opened her door! First, I was greeted by the lovely aroma accompanying such creative artistry. Then, her happy face and "'ook, momma! I 'ainted deese!" If she hadn't have been so cute and proud of herself, I may have had a major meltdown right then and there.
My son did stay true to his gender, but not in such a gag-inducing way. After coming home from a playdate, I put on one of the kids favorite shows and ran upstairs to change my clothes. Apparently, a toddler can do an incredible amount of damage in a 7-10 minute window of time. When I stepped into the kitchen, my feet felt it - the wet. I looked to my left, where only my daughter still sat on the couch, eyes glued to the animated entertainment that I so wrongly assumed would keep them both occupied. Looking to the right, I saw him, a bowl in his hands, frozen like a statue in front of the fridge. At his feet was the kids' toilet chair insert, already overflowing with water. "What are you doing?!" "Ummmmm. Don't ask me dat!" "Why is the floor all wet?" (Mind you, I was at least 6 feet away from him.) "Cause I made it," he said, proudly. "Why in the world would you want to make the floor wet?!" "Cause I going swimming!!" Sigh. "See, I get water here, den I put water dare, den I make a pool!" Yes, he got water out of the fridge via a bowl, then dumped it into the toilet insert, and, once full, onto the floor. I later found out that desk was also wet and puzzle pieces were floating in the drawers! At least the mess was made entirely from water…unless there was something in the toilet bowl insert before he started…oh dear!
SO - what does any of this have to do with writing, you might ask. These antics and literally hundreds more are all written into a book that I keep of "kid-isms." There are some, like the above, that I am most likely to never forget, but others fall through the cracks of my memories, never to be remembered unless I write them down on paper. What I discovered, though, is that I found myself inspired to continue writing after penning them. Let's call it a brain stretching exercise before the big game of novel writing. If you are having a hard time getting started one day, give it a try. Write or type out something that happened that day. Set the stage, give it details, and tell the tale as if someone is reading it from one of your stories. You never know how simple (or catastrophic) events might boost your day's writing!
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