Vacationing with autism...

I will have to admit - when we lifted off a little after 1pm this past Wednesday, I was a ball of nerves. My eldest, Abigail, had taken her meds for altitude sickness and was tightly holding the bandana that was specially made for her (by a new, dear friend in FL) - four selected pictures of her therapy cat, Sassafras, and name printed in the perfect blue…she stroked the pictures and quietly chewed her gum.

Before the trip, we went over many "escape routes" for the unknown. It was the first time she was going to spend time with her NC bestie, Addison, AND spend the night(s) without family present. Yet, she never used any of them! Parents of kiddos on the spectrum can appreciate the weight of this, the amazement and the pride - watching your child grow into themselves, asserting themselves more, and being ok with who they are.

Of course, it greatly helps to have amazing friends who are patient and understand, not forceful or taking things personally when they are not. Addison was amazing, even through the singular meltdown on Sunday. She gave Abigail space and never made her feel badly about it…at all! Bestie's family was equally amazing, I must add. They made Abigail feel welcome, at home, and loved.

We rented a car and took a road trip across the state, me in the chauffeur seat and the girls giggling in the back. Addison reminds me of my son, Evan, in that she is ever the comedian, making Abigail laugh. Ab proudly showed Addison her grandparents house and blossomed in their presence. It made my heart warm and soar, despite trip exhaustion, aches, and pains - it was wonderful! With her cousin, at my brother's home, she was alit and took many videos and pictures.

Meltdowns/shutdowns are an autistic reality, though. I honestly was happily surprised that there was only one, but that singular event caught me off guard. I know she was tired, hadn't done her "run-arounds" in four days, and was missing her kitty - a trifecta for an emotional storm over what seemed like so little. She used her calming mechanisms and spent some time alone, then slowly brought down the walls. Again, I cannot emphasize enough how amazingly patient and kind Addison was! Even my nephew sensed something and acted accordingly. The trip back across the state went well, as did the following departure date.

For our family, puberty brought around changes that pointed us in the direction of seeking help…the kind that aids a kiddo with HFA (high functioning autism) with self-calming mechanisms, self assertiveness, picking up on less obvious social cues, adjusting to the flexibility that comes with life. We know that ASD stands for autism spectrum disorder - but it isn't a disorder or disability, it is a difference - a different way of seeing the world and responding to it. As a parent, there are challenges, but there are some serious perks, as well. Abigail's life is very black and white which, at times, is very hard to work around; however it also means she follows the rules. Lying makes no sense to her, so she is extremely trustworthy. She says what she means and doesn't play games with people's emotions.

Returning to the vacationing part of this blog - there is more preparation than packing when it comes to autism. Bringing something of your therapy animal, like the specially made bandana, can work wonders for their minds and calm…having options and "outs" with code words or signs are their own special relief.

Now that our very delayed flight brought us home and life resumes, as I reflect on this trip…I am proud of my daughter and how she utilized self calming techniques and all that she learned! I am touched and thankful to both my FL friend and Addison's family for their help in this success…and by Addison, who has made it possible for Abigail to be herself, all the time, with her friendship and loyalty.

Abigail and Addison - sipping their Starbucks and sporting their "best friends" necklaces. :)